Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Regret

Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together.

Taylor Swift wrote these words inside the album cover booklet of her newest CD titled Speak Now. She wrote two pages full of her thoughts on how important it is to speak up at the right time. It made me realize what I've been lying to myself about for too long.

You can't go back in time to change the if only you always think about in your mind. That's why "saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial." Live in the moment in order to prevent future regret that you might have, thinking what if I had done this differently? You want to be one of the old geezers who look back on what they  remember and smile at the little things, not one of those who only remember their regrets.

If there's a time to make mistakes, it's now, while you're still young and innocent. These mistakes (mostly) don't have a large enough influence on your future to hold too much regret. You learn from your own mistakes, thus it's better to start this personal schooling now and end it early. You only get life for so long, so enjoy as much of it as you can, without regret! If you forget to speak up today, that's alright for now. Just remember to next time.

I always told myself I regret the past because things could have been different, but I could never figure out how they could have been different. I realized after reading Taylor's words, that it was all a matter of communication; I just didn't have the gut to speak up. But it's alright now, because mistakes are what structure the soul. There's a difference between mistakes and regret.

You control your own future, your own thoughts & regrets. You'll always wonder what could have happened if only you had spoken up. Mistakes can be forgiven. Regret is what you feel when you cannot be forgiven, but it only happens when you waste your time not taking action.

"I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now."

Manners

Where are your Manners?

Manners are said to be on of the rules of society. They're just there to set a polite and innocent image for yourself. People who do not follow them are considered rude. So am I rude for setting my own rules for my relationships with friends? Does this mean the polite ones are good and the rude ones are bad? No; you can't use manners as a way to distinguish between good and bad. In fact, there is no such thing as good and bad. They're just images of models developed by the human mind, influenced by the society we have created. Who's to determine what's good and what's bad? Isn't it rude to call somebody bad?

I hate the words sorry and thank you, or any alteration of those . My close friends know this, and so they're careful not to say them to me. I don't even want strangers to say thanks when I open the door for them at the mall, or sorry when they accidentally fall on me while riding the city bus. I hate it.

An apology means that something considered wrong by both parties was done, and so there is now regret. Either that, or it's just to be polite; it's just a manner. I don't want people to do anything wrong and then apologize for it, or just apologize for the heck of it. Sorry is just a word anyway; it doesn't really ever correct a wrong. So take a step out of your safe little box, and take action to make it up to whoever you want to apologize to. An apology comes from a feeling in your heart, not from the awareness of manners in your mind.

Thank you is just the aftermath of a good feeling, or (again), it's said to be polite. You thank somebody after they've done something that affects you. Have you ever wondered why they did it in the first place? It's because they care; they feel good just by inferring they've made a difference by observations after they've done their deed. A thanks doesn't strengthen this feeling; it instead makes you feel like you were only needed for that deed, so you are now dismissed. But it's a duty, for example, as a friend to help your friends. Just like a firefighter says to a little girl after she thanks him for saving her from her burning house, Just doing my duty, that's what you should feel when someone thanks you. When it's a politeness thing, of course I'll let it slide, otherwise it's not acceptable by my laws. Together as humankind, it is our duty to help each other. So perform your duty and feel good about it when you do. Don't accept a thank you, because you're sticking around to continue helping out your brothers and sisters, as is your duty.

Do you apologize to custodians in a public sector when you walk on the floor they just mopped? Do you thank them for mopping it? That's your ego feeling superior to them, thus not being polite to them. In situations like these, I will apologize or thank the other person, but in others, it's enough for them to receive a smile as a thank you, or other words that acknowledge your regret or gratefulness. A lot of the time, these facial expressions and gestures can say a lot more than a mere thanks can. Same thing with the variables of making it up to somebody rather than apologizing. Just be careful when speaking to me; don't mind your manners! ;)